How Not To Hunt - A True Story

Photo from Grand Forks Herald

I'm not naming names, and I've taken some liberties in quotes and such to summarize the tale, but here's a sadly true story about how NOT to hunt.

Recently, near a small town in northwestern North Dakota, a young man approached a farmer, asking permission to hunt on some nearby land.  He was bowhunting for moose and had spotted a large moose in the area. As the farmer wasn't the landowner of that parcel, he gave the young hunter the name and phone number of the owner, who granted permission to hunt.

Later, the farmer observed a large moose walking slowly through the field, the young man following from about 50 yards behind. The moose had been shot in the leg; it finally fell over. Seeing the moose fall, the farmer came by.

"So how are you going to get that back to your truck?" asks the farmer.

"I don't really know," says the man, the hulking animal laying at his feet.

The farmer offered to get his loader, telling the hunter that he'd return in about 45 minutes.

By the time the farmer returned with the loader, the hunter was sitting by the animal, which was still not gutted.  (When it comes to processing wild game, I've learned gutting is the first thing you do to help cool the meat down quickly so the meat doesn't spoil).

"Well, aren't you going to gut it?" asks the farmer.

"I don't have a knife," says the man.

A little exasperated, the farmer tells him, "Well, I can lend you a knife."

"I don't know how to gut a moose," says the man.

In an act of amazing generosity, the farmer makes a phone call and he and another local resident gut the young man's moose and load the cleaned carcass into his truck box. By this time, it's getting warm out and the meat needs to be attended to so it doesn't spoil.

"What you ought to do is go into town and get that pick-up box filled with ice," advises the farmer.

"I don't have any money with me," says the man.

At this point, the farmer, frustrated, takes leave of the situation, saddened to see such a majestic creature laid to waste by a foolish, ill-equipped person calling himself a hunter.