Perfect Asparagus

Every day it seems I become more and more like my mother. My teenage self would find this to be a point of despair; my almost-30 self is actually a bit pleased with the notion. We look the same. We talk the same. We both have a weakness for popcorn and peanut M&Ms. I’ve inherited her kind eyes, her child-bearing hips, and her love of Neil Diamond. However, there is still one major subject on which we politely disagree.

Asparagus.

When my mom cooks asparagus, I clench my teeth to resist complaint as the lovely stalks become overcooked in boiling water on the stovetop, going from bright crisp green to limp canned-peas green in a matter of minutes. She knows this, we’ve discussed it. She simply prefers soft, thoroughly cooked asparagus vs my preference of crunchy, barely blanched stalks. But hey, if she’s making dinner, who am I to argue? Never criticize the cook.

In my own kitchen, though, I have one rule for that welcome harbinger of spring: the simpler, the quicker, the better. My definition of asparagus perfection is this recipe, which is so simple I can hardly call it a recipe.

Dare I say it, I think my mom would even like it.

Perfect Asparagus
To test the freshness of asparagus, bend a stalk about an inch from the bottom; the bottom bit should snap off crisply. Bendy asparagus = old asparagus. Look at the tops too; the buds should be tightly grouped together. I added approximate measurements in case you must measure, but I’d recommend just eyeing it.

1 lb. asparagus stalks, rinsed, patted dry, and bottom ends trimmed off
3/4 tsp. kosher salt
2-3 Tbls. extra virgin olive oil
2-3 tsp. red wine vinegar or fresh lemon juice
About ¼ c. freshly grated parmesan cheese

Preheat broiler on high heat. Spread asparagus on a rimmed baking sheet. Sprinkle with kosher salt and drizzle olive oil over the top. Toss a bit to spread the salt and oil around. Place under broiler for 3-5 minutes, watching carefully, removing just when browned markings start to appear. Toss the asparagus then place under broiler again for 1-2 minutes until additional browned markings appear but before it gets burnt/black. Remove from broiler, transfer asparagus to serving platter, drizzle with vinegar or lemon juice, top with parmesan, and serve.

Variation: instead of using the broiler, grill asparagus just until char marks appear.