Apricot Trees

So I told you about my lemon and lime trees. And yes, they are alive and well, thanks for asking.

But I didn't tell you about the rest of my fruit trees.

I've basically decided to turn my tiny backyard into an orchard. In addition to my apple tree and the sour cherry bushes that our neighbors so generously passed on to us, I've planted a plum tree, a sweet cherry tree, and a pear tree, all supposedly self-pollinating and ok for our harsh northern climate (time will tell).

And then came the apricot trees.

I ordered two Goldcot apricot trees with the plan to grow them as espaldier trees against this wall:

That's Cash. Say hi, Cash.

"Arf."

Espaldier is when you train trees to grow against a wall, usually in fancy symmetrical forms. Remember that I'm a lazy gardener, so my espaldier apricot trees will be free-form. How hard can it be to grow a flat tree? Plant it close to the wall, trim off any branches that aren't going to work, and train the rest to follow some wire guides, right? That's my plan, anyway.

So I receive a long box, open it up, and see this notation on the receipt:

They are out of 2'-4' trees, so they are sending me 1'-2' trees instead? They can't do that! While I'm writing a complaint letter in my head, I check out the trees.

Hmm, this box looks awfully full...

(That's what she said.)

I pull out the contents and find four trees!

Upon closer inspection of the receipt, I see the 2 for 1 notation. I don't remember ordering 2 for 1 trees...and how am I going to fit four apricot trees in my yard?

So as I ponder that, I notice little rubber bands holding together the branches. So I start removing those, only to notice that they aren't branches at all, but completely separate trees...

Eight trees! I only wanted two!

As I have no use for eight apricot trees, I started calling friends and family and quickly found good homes for the unwanted little dears.

And no complaint letter was written.